Rant time. It’s been a while! Apparently though I need to clarify what being a confident attachment/peaceful parent means, and doesn’t mean.
Being a peaceful parent means you research the very best ways to raise your children. You aim to be mindful, thoughtful, present, patient and the best you can be for your child. It means you try your best every single day to live up to your ideal. It means you count the times you fail at this ideal as learning opportunities and don’t beat yourself up too much about them.
Being a peaceful parent means you follow your instincts when it comes to those times where you’re out of other options. It means you won’t always get it right.
Being a peaceful parent means you strongly advocate for peace throughout the world, and throughout all relationships. You work on your friendships stronger than you ever have before. You work on your relationship with your partner. You try to be a more mindful person in all aspects of your life. You follow your heart. You listen to what you actually want. You stop trying to be what society tells you you should be and instead follow what matters to you. You spread the message of peace to all others, especially other parents, in the hope that they might learn to be more peaceful, thoughtful and ultimately happier and more fulfilled.
Being a peaceful parent doesn’t mean you’ll never shout at your child.
It doesn’t mean you’ll never lose it and want to scream (or will scream).
It doesn’t mean you have all the answers.
It doesn’t mean you think you’re doing everything right and that everyone else is doing everything wrong. It means you’re doing what’s right for you, and are doing so unapologetically and with confidence.
It doesn’t mean your child will always behave “perfectly” and never test boundaries, tantrum or struggle with their emotions. It means that you accept these as part of having a child and try your damndest to respond with care and empathy, despite lots of people telling you you’re doing the wrong thing.
It doesn’t mean you’ll never have a bad day and really need people to help you.
And to those that offer your help and support on the bad days… thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
To those that would rather show self-righteousness… well, thanks for nothing.